Powergate: Gate 9 - Goodman Tanaka vs. Tetsu-low

Tetsu-low isn't the first genius to think this sort of appellation is the balls. I used to run with a DJ/Dentist named Chihiro who changed her genre to Chicano rap and went by the moniker Chihi-low. It was almost as clever then. Again, here at gate nine, I must iterate my oath of purity; I just see shit and then say that I saw it. I will make no value judgments. Except when I do. In this case I will not say that someone is a joker among a team of joker's. That he isn't special, just larger. A larger joker amongst a team. If only I could name that team.

Goodman Tanaka from Goodman Gym met up with Tetsu-low from Team Joker in a middle weight clash. Tanaka is the reigning middle weight champ. He illustrates well my point about Japanese dudes and weight classes. Tanaka is roughly my weight but looks like he could break me in half, crush the pieces together and store them in his ample belly. How are we similar in tonnage? Maybe it is because he stands 172 cm. Tetsu-low comes in at 87kg and 180cm. 4kg over Goodman. Goodman was clearly the crowd favorite making a big entrance. Low was clearly his team's favorite, being cornered by the earlier mentioned scrub, Matsuyama. I will only put up one picture of the bout, because it is the only one that matters. It tells the whole story. Here it is.



That is Tanaka on top in the camouflage man-panties with the Hinomaru on the side. Mr. Low is on the bottom, as it is the only place he was ever going to be. Conversing with a pro-fighter and a high level BJJ competitor after the show they pondered, "I wonder if that team practices?" I don't make those speculations, maybe they spend their time being jokesters. Tanaka, supported by massive legs, as well as the majority of the crowd, took Tetsu down at will and broke him. The ref stepped in to put a stop to the drubbing. Tetsu-low spied a fight he could fare a bit better in and began punching the ref and shoving him. This was directly in front of me. I am sorry there aren't pictures but here are the factors. I had three shots left. I was stuck between the turnbuckle, the officials, and this altercation. Being both a Southerner and a teacher at a violent school I automatically experienced the reflex known as "bowing up." Impotent, however, in this case, as I quickly realized I was watching a scrum between two pro fighters amidst a roomful of fighters. The role I would take in normal life, turned into a tail that I placed between my legs and replaced with a stern look of disapproval. Some teams jokes are truly tasteless. I have no doubt that if this fight was fought ten more times, Mr. Tanaka would never fail to force feed Low-san his man-panties at will.